Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.

Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed.

Funny SMS Messages in English

You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number

Abracadabra SMS...Nope, ur still ugly!

One day theere was a meeting in the forest, atenthed by tigrs, horses, lions etc. but da meeting hasnt started, cuz da munky is reading dis message!

Learn from the mistakes of ur parents..... always use a condom!

You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.

Happy birthday darling!! In which asylum did you make reservations!!

Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!

Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

Mother Nature is a supreme bitch.

I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful... I look at you.. I.. I'd rather look at the moon again..

Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.

I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works man...

You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you...

As you go through life you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of them.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot. This describes everything you are not..

I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today ?

You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

I just heard a crow and that just reminded me to text you: how are you??

I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe

Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!

You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.

You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

No matter how many plastic surgeries you make .you will always look the same!!!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful, but what the hell
happened to you?

Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut

Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!

Have you seen a monkey wrapped in plastic? No? Quickly see your driving license.

Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing...

The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2.If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?